When the World Caves In: Fully Loving the Lover of My Soul

Oh, how I love Jesus

Because He first loved me

I have been listening to an album called Ballads of the Revelation, which was written and performed by a man named Dalton Thomas (with the assistance of his wife, Anna). It walks through different chapters of Revelation (a book I feel many of us have grappled with and tried to make sense of) and tells the story of different chapters with passion, insight, and creativity. Rarely have I found an album that makes me reflect so much on eternity and the fleetingness of suffering in comparison with the joy to come. 

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." 

[Romans 8:18]

The album cover of "Ballads of the Revelation"

There is a song about halfway through the album called "When the World Caves In" (hence the title of this post...) that is so beautiful and challenging and powerful. It talks about the days to come when we will know Christ as our Judge, Brother, King, Lover; when we will know as we are known and abide forever with our Redeemer. and then it rolls into the chorus--

When this age ends, when the world caves in

You will find me in love with You.

When this age ends, when the world caves in

You will find me prepared for you.

And then it rolls into a portion of "Be Thou My Vision", which is my favorite hymn.

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise

Thou mine inheritance now and always

Thou and Thou only first in my heart

High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

This song utterly broke me. When my Redeemer returns as LORD and Conqueror, will He find me fully in love with Him and prepared for His return? Is my heart's cry each day, "Even so come, LORD Jesus! Come!"? Am I heeding the riches of the world and the fleeting words of man, or am I considering Christ and the Gospel my most precious and highly-regarded treasure?

And I realized how fully and completely I am in love with my Savior. 

For one of the first true times in my life, I feel completely content and whole because I am resting in the knowledge that Christ is my All-in-all. I need no other lover, friend, or companion. No other being will love and understand me as fully as He. No other eyes see each and every beautiful and atrocious part of my heart and love me just as consistently and mercifully. And the things we desire all along--marriage, companionship, friendships, to be understood and seen--these things only exist because we gain an understanding of how deeply we are loved by Him, and how much we are compelled to love Him in return. The reason I actively look for godly friendships is because I understand glimpses of what it is like to have the sweetest friend in Jesus and--being made in His image--I want to exercise that to people in my life. The reason that I fervently pray for a covenantal marriage is because I know that marriage only exists to be a reflection of how Christ loves the church, and how we will be in eternity.

We love because He first loved us.

[1 John 4:19]

Because that's the only response my heart can muster up when I reflect on how loved and known I am--unstoppable and heart-wrenching love. And the desire to love Him and His people more fully. What a gift it is to be a broken but loved creation and to get to strive to spend the rest of my brief life bearing the outpouring of love from the Father and being a mere vessel for the Spirit's activity. I can think of no calling more rewarding. And this love that I know and am known by casts out fear, overpowers the damnation my soul deserves, and overcame even death for me and for you.

And as Easter draws near this year, I'm praying for continued joy and deeper understanding of this powerful and gracious love and contentment found in His presence, for in His presence there is fullness of joy. (Psalm 16!!) There is a verse in Song of Solomon..."I had found him whom my soul loves." [Song of Solomon 3:4]. I see this often used in the context of couples getting engaged or married. But friends, we can (and should!) most resoundingly say this the day we accept Christ into our hearts. And because He pursued and found and first loved us, we have found an Eternal Hope and source of strength and comfort on which to build a foundation. A loving hand to cling to in trials. We as believers (single, or married) already have found the One whom our souls should love most deeply.

I am praying that we as a church live more fully and intentionally and JOYFULLY as we await the return of our LORD. I am praying that we are used by the Holy Spirit to orchestrate actions that bring God all the glory. I am praying we can be more kingdom-minded, and see past the wall of next week with its many demands.

I highly recommend listening to Ballads of the Revelation and reflecting on what it means to be a disciple, and what our calling here on earth is. ("Reunion on Patmos", "Banishment", "When the World Caves In", and "Aslan's Land" are especially beautiful to me.) I encourage you to spend time in the Word--grounding yourself in truth because times are only going to get more difficult. And we need to be equipping ourselves to be the brightest lights for Christ that we can be. I encourage you to examine your heart...is Jesus truly first in your heart? Is He your First Love? This is something I so often struggle with, and Hosea explains exactly why. We get lost and distracted. We seek fulfillment and place our hopes in all the wrong things. We build and fashion idols and submit to our own flesh's desires. And, until the day we join Him in paradise, we will be caught in this continuous and cyclical battle against the flesh.

What is first in your heart? Who does your soul most fully love?